Love & Libido: Matching Up Your Sex Drive
Due to troubles with impulse control, people with ADHD may engage in risky sexual behaviors or substance use, which could further impair their decision-making ability. Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder is a mental health condition that causes major symptoms such as impulsive behavior, inattention, and hyperactivity. The condition can have substantial effects on adult life. For instance, someone with ADHD may struggle with a poor self-image and maintaining a proper job or relationship.
Age and hormones
Fortunately, the area of Scotland where you live is reasonably well-equipped with marital counsellors. I strongly recommend that you begin by ringing Couple Counselling Scotland. They have just changed their name to ‘Relate Scotland.’ But for the next year or so, their number will still be listed in your phone book under the title ‘Couple Counselling Scotland. Seventeen picks products that we think you’ll love the most. We may earn commission from the links on this page. Hannah Orenstein is the author of several novels, including Meant to Be Mine (out June 7, 2022), Head Over Heels, Love at First Like, and Playing with Matches.
Yes, I do think the issue of possible dryness or even pain needs to be looked at – by a gynaecologist or Family Planning Clinic doctor. You hang out at your S.O.’s house when it’s convenient for their schedule and Goodnight text chat always get pizza because it’s their favorite food. If they’re never taking your interests or likes and dislikes into account, then that’s not OK. Relationships are all about compromise, on the big and small stuff.
Sex drive refers to a hypothetical construct encompassing one’s attitudes toward sex, sexual desires, and sexual behaviors (Baumeister, 2000). Men have a stronger sex drive than women, and this gender difference is evident in cross-cultural research involving men and women from 53 different countries (Lippa, 2009). In each nation studied, men self-reported stronger sex drives than women. While some women do have a very strong sex drive, this sexual motivation functions differently for women than it does for men. It’s natural to sometimes lose interest in sex, but long-term low libido may have an underlying cause.
Access their stressors
Sometimes, the easiest solution for couples struggling with mismatched libidos is to go back to the basics. Many couples get stuck in a routine and don’t plan out date nights together the way they may have early on in the relationship. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel here, either. Instead, book consistent date nights and hit up old spots you used to enjoy together. Having dedicated time to look forward to helps build desire before the dates; meanwhile, spending quality time together on the dates helps you reconnect more intimately. Consider this an invitation to unlearn bad sex ed, including unhealthy myths that sex (only) means penetration and that orgasm is always the end goal.
Similarly, if your teen is on the receiving end of unhealthy behavior, it’s important to step in and help out. It’s important to talk to your teen about a variety of dating topics, such as personal values, expectations, and peer pressure. Be open with your teen about everything from treating someone else with respect to your—and their—beliefs around sexual activity. Some people have had sexual abuse or non-consensual sexual experiences at a young age or in their teens, and this can put them in a situation where they are having to understand and manage trauma symptoms. Clinical and somatic sexologist and relationship counsellor Tanya Koens answers your questions on those tricky issues many of us experience in (and outside) the bedroom.
It’s one thing for her to need some time and patience while she gets comfortable with talking about your sex life, but it’s another thing entirely if she refuses to engage. That’s down the line, though — start with changing the pace of the conversation and see where it gets you. Next, ask her how she defines “good sex” — trust me, it can have a totally different definition for one person compared to another Again, this can feel like another positively-rooted conversation. But it will also help you get a sense of whether or not she’s looking for something different from the sex that the two of you have together.
Matching libidos are about as rare as simultaneous orgasms. It’s wonderful when they align, but it’s pretty uncommon. The longer you’re together, the more likely you’ll encounter times where one person will be inching towards the bedroom while the other is inching deeper into the couch.
All these conditions have negative consequences on sex drive. For example, someone with ADHD may find it stressful to stay orderly and organized. They may not have the drive or energy for sexual activities. It is often hard to determine the implication of ADHD on sexuality since sexual symptoms often vary from one person to another.
Release any thoughts about this issue coming to a resolution during this conversation. Instead, look at this as “opening up the conversation”. OUR EXPERTS
James McConnachie is the author of Sex (Rough Guides, £12.99). Psychologist Dr Cecilia d’Felice is a relationship consultant for Match.com.
Melissa Audrey is a Certified Love and Relationship coach who helps women empower themselves by teaching them love skills, vibe-shifting mindset work, feminine energy embodiment, and goddess scripts. You mentioned that your man claims spiritual reasons. If it feels right to you, you can say this or change it to better represent how you feel.