Studies: Avoiding Conflict Could Spell Divorce

You will be able to resolve conflicts healthily and build a stronger relationship. The consequences of conflict avoidance can be very damaging to a relationship. When two people avoid conflict, they are not communicating their needs and desires to each other. The relationship becomes based on assumptions and expectations rather than communication. Conflict avoidance can damage your relationships and harm your mental health.

how to deal with someone who avoids conflict

If you’re avoiding conflict in relationships, it may be because this is a habit or learned behavior. In this case, you may be able to resolve the issue with some of the strategies discussed here. I talk a lot about the importance of doing the work before a conversation to better ensure success. When your fear brain is lit up, the rational, calm thinking part of your brain can’t come on line. If your perception of conflict comes from painful memories from early childhood or previous unhealthy relationships, you may expect all disagreements to end badly. You may view conflict as demoralizing, humiliating, or something to fear.

Conflict Avoidance: 3 Ways to Approach A Partner Who Hates Tough Conversations

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  • Remember, you’ve got to connect to correct so showing empathy and compassion if your partner is a conflict avoider is the best way to create a space where they’ll start sharing what’s real.
  • You may also want to seek legal representation if your organization isn’t appropriately handling your situation and/or if your well-being is negatively impacted.
  • You may also subconsciously direct the negative and painful feelings to your partner, blaming them for your inability to speak up and nurture intimacy.
  • If you begin having problems with a co-worker, friend, family member, or significant other, act immediately.

Since your spouse and I have a lot in common, let me give you some tips on how to deal with a spouse who can’t handle conflict. CR Kit – Covers causes of conflict, different conflict styles, and fair fighting guidelines to help you positively resolve disagreements. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on. If you’re holding on to grudges based on past conflicts, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired.

What Is Conflict Avoidance Behavior?

If you both feel like crap at the end, no one really wins. Choose — together and individually — which issues are worthy of the struggle. Trust your connection to handle blunt conversations that how to deal with someone who avoids conflict get to the heart of an issue. Instead, we should see it as a relational experience that needs to be handled appropriately. Also, love can be eternal, but compatibility is another story.

  • When you are able to address conflict, instead of avoiding it, your couple connection can strengthen.
  • If you do choose to engage in conflict resolution with another person, it may be helpful to have a third party present.
  • If fighting occurs, take a break and continue talking another time.
  • Your partner often withdraws from conflict or avoids conflict altogether.
  • People who are known for avoiding conflict in relationships may seem easy-going and pleasant, but ultimately, conflict avoidance comes with a price.

Instead of accusing, (You always…) use an “I” statement that reflects your own feelings and subjective experiences. Avoid criticizing your partner, because fights are often not about our partners. Yelling, screaming, and an overly aggressive tone will lead to your spouse shutting down. Express your thoughts and emotions with your words and a quieter intensity. Effective Communication – The art of listening in conflict resolution.

Learn Healthy Conflict Through Relationship Intimacy Coaching

Conflict avoiders may silence their opinions to please other people. They think that if they keep their opinions and needs to themselves, others will like them. I’ll teach you simple, actionable tools and strategies that you can use today to make your relationship the best it’s ever been. This sends the message that you don’t respect their perspective or opinion.

These are just a few of the symptoms people can experience when going through a depressive episode. If you believe you may have depression, contact an experienced therapist. However, if your self-worth is being damaged or you’re being broken down mentally, contemplate if the relationship is the best for you. Your brain can only take so much before it needs relief. Today, you may be winning by skirting around issues, but in the long run, you’ll only be losing.

It Impacts Your Intimacy

However, you can handle conflict without going into panic mode. When you don’t talk to your partner about what is bothering you, it can be difficult to talk in general. Discussing superficial topics can become strained and difficult as bottled up feelings and resentment eventually need an outlet. Instead of just avoiding conflict, you might end up avoiding your partner altogether.